“Freedom is what you do with what is been completed to you.”  ~Jean-Paul Sartre

“So did you figure out what your shadow totem is?”

This was the initial factor out of my husband’s friend’s mouth as I sat down to meal at a neighborhood downtown cafe, throughout from my partner and a pair friends we had been conference up with.

I laughed at the alternative of concern but then paused with broad eyes and replied, “YES, I DID! Oh my gosh. It’s an ant!”

The backstory is that we experienced earlier had a discussion about animal symbolism, and how figuring out what we discover with (spirit animal) or most panic (shadow totem) can assist us acquire deep insights into ourselves. I had no problems with pinpointing my spirit animal—an eagle—but could not for the existence of me pin down my shadow totem.

As he asked that dilemma that night, a light bulb in my head went off. I experienced been battling a multi-week-very long ant infestation in my home and it experienced become the bane of my existence. Just about every time I noticed one of people suckers, I got brought on all around once more. It ruined numerous days. So this made great perception! Ants are my shadow totem. But why??

On reflection about this realization, I mulled more than the indicating of this and was ready to arrive absent with some pretty outstanding nuggets. Place basically, the ants struck me at my weakest level: my require for handle.

I know I’m not by itself in this quirk—“control problems,” as a great deal of us jokingly refer to them. But the real truth is, if you’re saddled with this deep urge then you know you reside your lifestyle on a large wire, attempting to equilibrium almost everything and maintain it beautifully just so. And when you are thrown off, you just take a really deep dive into mental chaos right until you correct the ship once more. All right, as well several metaphors, but the place is, it sucks.

Back to the ants. Days immediately after the dinner I took time to feel about the true that means of them as my shadow totem. The insights I experienced about my handle difficulties were not only valuable to me, but I guess will be the similar for you!

I was even ready to establish 3 mindset adjustments as an accompaniment. I discovered they are inclined towards the Buddhist way of pondering but are just definitely stable approaches to approach lifetime. So in this article we go!

1. The ants were coming out of nowhere. And FROM Everywhere. It drove me nuts considering that I could not determine the source of the trouble.

Insight:

On reflection, I related this to how I generally come to feel like a sitting duck in lifetime, just waiting around for the upcoming blow to appear. The unpredictable mother nature of matters feels like a regular risk. Also, I recognize I often doggedly research for the “why” of points, but regrettably am not often capable to arrive up with an remedy.

I have felt this sentiment in a lot of scenarios, ranging from the trivial to the most profound, with the latter remaining when I had a miscarriage. It was (as several of them are) not possible to tie to a definitive cause. In this case, my only accurate program of motion (one much easier mentioned than completed) was to accept and transfer ahead.

State of mind adjustment:

Acceptance, however not a hot response to the higher than, is seriously the best a single. You’re gonna get ants in your dwelling (especially when it’s in a environmentally friendly local community built in 1936!).

In existence, you’re gonna get surprises. And not usually joyful ones. I after read that if you can expect the unexpected, when it comes, you will take it as an “old mate.” Seems substantially improved than dealing with life’s downs (the “ups” are a lot more very easily handled, appropriate?!) as a monster underneath the bed.

2. The dang ants were being ruining my days. What a waste! But legitimate.

I felt silly with my outbursts, exclaiming expletives each and every time I came across a single of individuals evil tiny things. My poor partner (who has the endurance of a saint, zen learn, and probably Jesus, combined!) hearing me from the up coming room. I did not want this for me (or him).

Insight:

Just like in my more substantial everyday living, small points going incorrect can truly mess me up. The feeling of getting a bad day instead than just trying to keep it a poor moment is just one I am familiar with, regretably.

Mindset adjustment:

Enter mindfulness. This handy approach lets for a form of compartmentalization so we can totally be in the actuality that is in front of us in the present moment. The real truth is, the ants were being genuinely only in a few rooms of the home, and I only encountered them for probably a few minutes out of my day. But Man, you wouldn’t have recognized it!

Attaching to our day currently being or keeping a unique way is selected death. Alright, that’s intense, but it’s induce for certain stress. And that is no way to are living this shorter lifestyle. Vital basic principle: impermanence. Funnily sufficient, I have that word tattooed on me! In permanent ink… but is it “permanent”? I digress.

3. I chose a cure solution for the ants, but however I walked about in a huff about it. I experienced performed all I could do—why could not I allow it go?

Perception:

I often find myself ruminating on other things in everyday living extended just after I experienced picked out a training course of motion. Sounds like a waste of psychological, emotional, and even physical (if you’re pacing!) electrical power to me.

Like when I made the selection to switch professions from business to education and learning. Thoughts lingered, swirling in my head for fairly some time after: “Is this a blunder?” “What if I want to change my brain all over again?” “Did I just waste my bachelor’s diploma?” This produced the path forward foggy and unsure when what I essential was clarity and smooth sailing—which would have been afforded to me experienced I experienced self-have faith in at the time.

Attitude adjustment:

Difficult as it is, the practice—keyword, PRACTICE—must be letting go with the knowledge that you can only do so considerably. There are so many sources of inspiration for this notion. Get your decide: The famed quote “Let go and let God” or  “Let it goooo” a la Frozen (any other mom and dad in the dwelling?). You get the concept.

Also, incorporate to the mantra list that nature will normally win. This is real with the ants (spoiler alert, they came back again) and with life in standard, the universe on a broader scale. Think entropy. It is everywhere in all means. The quicker we align ourselves with the strategy, the superior!

—

I felt oddly grateful to the ants for the possibility to mirror. It gave me a likelihood to obtain insights that I (and probably you!) normally would not have had. If you are fearful about us forgetting this wisdom, don’t be. Those tiny reminders (aka the ants) are constantly all around the corner.

Submit-composing edit: Funny factor is, appropriate right after writing this, I walked into my lavatory and observed an ant creating its way up the facet of my mirror! Poetic, huh?

About Just a Girl & Her Procedures

Just a Woman & Her Methods is a self-care fanatic and elementary faculty counselor-turned-momentary-remain at property (new!) mother in the Mid-Atlantic / DC region. Her practical experience with substantial-wants populations and trauma-informed/trauma-responsive work led to a recognition of secondary trauma in herself. This developed into, by necessity, a fervent perseverance to self-care.  Her current enthusiasm job is a weblog committed to useful tactics for particular wellness, A Next for Self-Treatment, located at asecondforselfcare.com.

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